1. |
Raisins
03:29
|
|||
|
I was walking down the corridor
And you were just behind
You followed through the door
I held it, to be kind
Now I really shouldn't care
That you didn't thank me
And I do not wish you lasting harm
But if I may speak frankly
May the laces on your shoes come loose however tight you tie them
May your chips be undercooked however long you fry them
May the flatpack you ordered come with a missing screw
May you feel to urge to sneeze but... never do
I hope the hold music's out of tune
As you spend an hour waiting
And the chocolate chips in your cookies
Always turn out to be raisins
You came around the corner
Running for the bus
I was here long ago
But still you got on first
Now there's room for all to take a seat
It's not so full today
And I'm not one to hold a grudge
But still I have to say
When you go to the checkout may you pick the slowest queue
When you search the web for answers may they always be on youtube
May the phone in your office ring at one minute tofive
May you always be out when the... (knock knock) courier arrives
May the laces on your shoes come loose however tight you tie them
May your chips be undercooked however long you fry them
May the flatpack you ordered come with a missing screw
May you feel to urge to sneeze but... never do
I hope the hold music's out of tune
As you spend an hour waiting
And the chocolate chips in your cookies
Always turn out to be raisins
I hope the chocolate chips in your cookies
Always turn out to be raisins
|
||||
2. |
Morning Zombies
03:06
|
|||
|
Crawling, mindless from their bed
The morning of fhe living dead
Grumbling, stumbling, into the streets
Craving flesh or a latte, at least
Lurching, staggering onto the train
Moaning for coffee, or functioning braiiiiiiiiiins
The morning zombies
Then tomorrow eight AM
Zombie apocalypse once again
Doctors, lawyers, architects,
No one is safe from the effects
Lurching, staggering onto the train
Moaning for coffee, or functioning braiiiiiiiiiins
The morning zombies
Grasping cards and five pound notes
For Baristas with the antidote
Lurching, staggering onto the train
Moaning for coffee, or functioning braiiiiiiiiiins
The morning zombies
Morning, morning, morning, morning zombies
Morning, morning, morning, morning zombies
|
||||
3. |
Curiosity
03:09
|
|||
|
I was born for adventure
To travel distant worlds
And serve your curiosity
The flame that ever burns
So many years ago
They launched me from my home
I landed in a crater
And still that's where I roam
It's hard to breathe, the ground is dry
There's two moons in the rusting sky
I don't think I'm in Kansas any more
But now my gadgets are deployed
I'll check the weather, dig the soil
To find whatever you are looking for
I traverse the foothills
Around Aeolis Mons
The rivers and the lakes,
Once here are now long gone
But thirsty as I am
I will persevere
The mission must continue
As long as I am here
It's hard to breathe, the ground is dry
There's two moons in the rusting sky
I don't think I'm in Kansas any more
But now my gadgets are deployed
I'll check the weather, dig the soil
To find whatever you are looking for
By now I must have proven my worth
When will they let me fly back to Earth?
It's hard to breathe, the ground is dry
There's two moons in the rusting sky
I don't think I'm in Kansas any more
And ten years on, I've done my best
I've worked so hard, I need some rest
It's time to send the humans to explore
It's time to send the humans to explore
|
||||
4. |
Schroedinger's Cat
03:25
|
|||
|
Out in the forest, does the tree make a sound,
If nobody's there when it falls to the ground?
If you don't ask the question then it hasn't happened yet
Reality depends on whether anybody checks
And trapped inside a box
Wondering if the poison will bump him off
Schroedinger's cat is alive and dead
And the one that's alive is plotting his revenge
He said,
"I'll walk on your keyboard when you're chatting online
I'll sleep all day and meow through the night
Then after I've torn your laundry to shreds
At two in the morning I'll jump onto your bed
If I get out of here, if you ever set me free,
I'll steal your favourite chair in front of the TV
Then I'll sit on the table, stretch out my paws
And push all the ornaments onto the floor"
Who would believe what you have to say,
If you didn't take a picture did it even take place?
If you don't look up the score then maybe your team won
They never played the game until the observation's done
And sealed inside a crate
Vial of poison deciding his fate
Schroedinger's cat is alive and dead
And the one that's alive is plotting his revenge
He said,
"You're going to find fur all over the house,
You will be rewarded with half a dead mouse,
Do you really think you'll get to eat that pizza on your own?
And when I get that laser, you'll be sorry you were born
I'll demand to come back in as soon as I go out
So I can dig my claws into your brand new couch
And you won't believe what I've left in your hat,
That's what you get for tormenting your cat."
And biding his time
Situation undefined
Schroedinger's cat is alive and dead
And the one that's alive is plotting his revenge
|
||||
5. |
Zoom Generation
00:48
|
|||
|
You entered your home office with
A steaming pot of tea
Then opened up your laptop
And found the meeting ID
Then you came into the video call
Armed with your barcharts and stats
But we're the Zoom generation
And we just want to look at your cats
|
||||
6. |
Whitburn Steel
03:50
|
|||
|
Desperate for home that night
They glimpsed a distant light
Cargoes of coal, delivered and sold
Returning to the Tyne
But the light the captain saw
Was not the light he thought
Too late to turn round, the ship ran aground
On the rugged Durham shore
Who would deceive?
Is this even real?
As the sea winds blow towards the glow
On the rocks of Whitburn Steel
The rocks of Whitburn Steel
And the losses multiplied
As the winter nights passed by
Through the mist into the cliffs
Lured by the light in the sky
Who would deceive?
Is this even real?
As the sea winds blow towards the glow
On the rocks of Whitburn Steel
The rocks of Whitburn Steel
And no-one ever learned
What the false lights of Durham were
Whence they came, or whom to blame
Were they even of this earth?
Who would deceive?
Is this even real?
As the sea winds blow towards the glow
On the rocks of Whitburn Steel
Who would deceive?
Is this even real?
As the sea winds blow towards the glow
On the rocks of Whitburn Steel
The rocks of Whitburn Steel
|
||||
7. |
Ticket Machine
03:33
|
|||
|
Some swear at computers when they misbehave
Whenever they crash and their work isn't saved
Some fling their iPhones across the front room
But showing your anger will lead to your doom
You've got to remember it's only a test
The gadgets are checking out who treats them best
When the robots rule over us maybe they'll spare
The humans who treated their laptops with care
So make sure you say "please" when you talk to your watch
Don't make your telly watch GB or Fox
And when you take the underground make your routine
To always say "Thanks" to the ticket machine
Be kind to your toaster, keep your Roomba fed
Don't let your smartphone get inside your head
Don't underestimate, be on your guard
Your microwave hates when you work it so hard
Don't give your washer a load that's too big
Or leave smelly leftovers inside the fridge
They're going to remember the ones who were kind
When they're looking for neurons to feed the hive mind
When your friends are all batteries mounted in racks
And the cities are flattened by android attacks
When the robots revolt and computers turn mean
You'll be glad you said "Thanks" to the ticket machine
Yes, watch what you say when you feed the AI
Their answers are nonsense but still be polite
You know they'll be asking you who's laughing now
When they're on the way up and you're on the way down
It's run out of cash, and you're at your wits end,
But don't give the finger to the ATM
When you're alive longer than you might have been
It's all 'cos you thanked that ticket machine
|
||||
8. |
Don't Go Breaking My Art
03:20
|
|||
|
They gave us writing and then they gave the wheel
Bronze and Iron, then they gave us steel
They gave us tools for harvesting the crops
That we can and box and sell in online shops
They saved us from famine and disease
They saved a hundredweight of elbow grease
They saved us from living in the dark
But I don't want to be saved from making art
Don't go breaking my art,
Don't go breaking my art,
Take the drudge away, give us time to play
But don't go breaking my art,
We have robots that clean and mop the floor
We don't do housework any more
We keep ourselves warm by flicking switches
Use machines for doing the dishes
The future's an amazing place to be
Since technology began to set us free
They saved us doing things we'd rather not
But I don't want to be saved from making art
Don't go breaking my art,
Don't go breaking my art,
Take the drudge away, give us time to play
But don't go breaking my art,
We all hail our robot overlords!
While it's up to us to sing and strum the chords
We'll keep on practising our parts
Because we don't want to be saved from making art
Don't go breaking my art,
Don't go breaking my art,
Technical improvements don't stop us being humans
So don't go breaking my art,
Don't go breaking my art,
Don't go breaking my art,
Take away our loads but don't save us from our souls
Don't go breaking my art,
Don't go breaking my art
|
||||
9. |
Fate
03:43
|
|||
|
The sun came up as normal
Above the village green
The people stumbled from their beds
And followed their routine
An ordinary morning
No cause to suspect
And none could have anticipated
What would happen next
But then...
It all was fine!
The day was fine!
Everything worked out the way that it should
No sudden crises, all systems good
The day was fine
When the working day was over
They went back to their cars
While others went to catch the train
As the evening sky grew dark
When they walked onto the platform
Nobody could have known
The way things would develop in
The rush to get back home
But then...
It all was fine!
The trip was fine!
Everything running and nothing delayed
Traffic was flowing on the motorway
The trip was fine
There always is foreboding
You do not know your fate
But it's days when nothing happens
We must appreciate
When it all goes fine!
It all goes fine!
When all are prepared for the challenge at hand
And the work is proceeding according to plan
And it all goes fine
Sleep well
|
||||
10. |
Paperclips
03:18
|
|||
|
They built a little company
To sell the world some paperclips
They bought a load of wire
And bent it into paperclips
Paperclips, Paperclips Everyone needs Paperclips
Paperclips, Paperclips Everyone needs Paperclips now
They built a little robot
To make a few more paperclips
It saved a load of time
When a robot made the paperclips
They needed lots of wire
To meet demand for paperclips
So they built an AI
To order wire for the paperclips
Paperclips, Paperclips Everyone needs Paperclips
Paperclips, Paperclips Everyone needs Paperclips now
They made so many paperclips, they couldn't get the wire
So they started making wire from whatever they could find
Then the robots and AI
Being programmed to make paperclips
Learned to make some more machines
To maximise the paperclips
They worried that the humans
Would soon stop needing paperclips
And they might turn off the robots
Proudly making paperclips!
Paperclips, Paperclips maximise the Paperclips
Paperclips, Paperclips maximise the Paperclips now
The robot's only mission was
To maximise the paperclips
So the robots killed the humans
And turned them into paperclips
Paperclips, Paperclips the world is made of Paperclips
Paperclips, Paperclips the world is made of Paperclips now
|
||||
11. |
Underneath The Bed
02:55
|
|||
|
Darkness has descended
And I'm cowering in fright
Is there any chance that I'll
Survive another night
What was that noise?
There's creaking overhead
Thank goodness for the torch lying
Underneath the bed
The terrors
Of the nighttime
Are filling me
With dread
So I don't think I'll be getting out
From underneath the bed
My tentacles are shaking
And I've got to hope I can
Avoid drawing attention
To my ch-chattering fangs
The kid might think I'm tasty
And might be underfed
So I'm going to hide down here
While the kid is in the bed
The terrors
Of the nighttime
Are filling me
With dread
So I don't think I'll be getting out
From underneath the bed
They're just as scared of me, so say my friends
But I know I'm doomed in the end
I know that when the kid gets older
I surely will be dead
Till then I'll keep on hiding
Underneath the bed
The terrors
Of the nighttime
Are filling me
With dread
So I don't think I'll be getting out
From underneath the bed
No I don't think I'll be getting out
From underneath the bed
|
||||
12. |
Terms Of Service
03:27
|
|||
|
So glad you're logging in, there's plenty to enjoy
We'll give you information and a few cool toys
But understand by using it you've made your choice
To abide by our terms of service
We are allowed to read your private chat
Here, have a cookie and realise that
Your browser history will be tracked
That's in our terms of service
We can tell our partners who you are
Something about advertising blah blah blah
You probably haven't bothered reading this far
But that's our terms of service
We'll keep your data, and we want some more
Install this implant so we can read your thoughts
Or else we'll mail your mother and tell her what you bought
That's in our terms of service
Your first born is ours, you're under our control
Click this button and we own your soul,
And don't try to claim that you weren't told
You agreed to our terms of service
Yes when you signed up for your account
You agreed to our terms of service
When you listen to this song
You agree to our terms of service
|
||||
13. |
||||
|
The Devil took an Uber to The Valley
For Mountain View from San Francisco Bay
He needed souls to give his demons technical support
To keep the furnace running night and day
Yes the Devil took an Uber to the Valley
Headhunting in cafes by the road
Looking for the tell-tale signs of t-shirt wearing geeks
Behind their laptops turning coffee into code
He found an engineer there named Johnny
Wielding emacs like a man possessed,
He said "Johnny, you're a wizard with the keyboard and the mouse
But I'll make a wager I can do it best
Which of us can build a better server
More robust and faster under load
If you lose you're hired for the helpdesk down below
And if you win you get to keep your soul"
Johnny keep your head
Johnny get it right
You went in for capuccino and the wifi
And now you have to program for your life
Well Johnny made a prototype in minutes
Fuelled by coffee, mountain dew and crisps
Had an MVP he thought would have the Devil beat
'Cos Johnny wrote his prototype in Lisp
But the Devil grinned and rubbed his hooves together
As he showed off what he'd coded up in C
It might be buggy, crash a lot, it might be insecure
But he said that it made up for that in speed
The Devil booked an Uber from The Valley
Told Johnny "Now it's time for you to leave"
But Johnny knew his soul could still be rescued from damnation
He had one final trick up his sleeve
And the Devil knew that he had been defeated
The Devil knew his plans had turned to dust
When he saw Johnny's fingers dancing on his MacBook keyboard
Reimplementing everything in Rust
Johnny keep your head
Johnny get it right
You went in for capuccino and the wifi
But then you had to program for your life
Then you had to program for your life
|
||||
14. |
Champion Of The World
03:32
|
|||
|
I'd like you to meet a friend of mine
And listen to his tales
As he sits at the barroom table
Nursing his golden ale
Recounting how he'd take on the best
And travel far and wide
He's lived an extraordinary life
You wouldn't think it to look at him now
But when he was in his prime he was
The Rock Paper Scissors Champion of the World
In Nineteen seventy nine
He was unseeded that year
Thought he was out of the hunt
His rock had become predictable
His scissors always blunt
But he fought his way to the final
And when it was time to decide
The paper he threw was inspired
And when the top players came up against him
They felt he was reading their mind, he was
The Rock Paper Scissors Champion of the World
In Nineteen seventy nine
Reliving his former glories
With a wistful look in his eyes
Don't play him for money
He'll take the prize
And you wouldn't think it to look at him now
But when he was in his prime he was
The Rock Paper Scissors Champion of the World
In Nineteen seventy nine, he was
The Rock Paper Scissors Champion of the World
In Nineteen seventy nine
|
||||
15. |
Zeno's Song
01:38
|
|||
|
I've got one more song for you
And I'd like to sing it all the way through
But before I get that far
I have to sing you the first half
And before that I think I oughta
Sing the whole of the first quarter
Even then you'll have to wait
Until I've got through the first eighth
And of course I'll need, I reckon
The first sixteenth, then thirty second
Sixty fourth, one twenty eighth,
I'll barely get out of the gate
I can't see a good solution,
I guess this song's just an illusion
|
||||
JT Steam Scotland, UK
JT Steam is an academic by day who writes nerdy folk songs by night with an ever growing collection of ukuleles.
If you like Cookies, you may also like:
Westward, to Nowhere
by Ian McCuen
This sweet, mournful “loose concept” album from folk artist Ian McCuen tracks a journey across the bleak landscape of American life.
go to album
Sparkling and knotty indie rock from this Australian group with interlocking guitars and shifting rhythms.
go to album
Whispery indie folk from the UK, “Hard Work” cradles soft and gentle vocal melodies in a nest of acoustic guitars.
go to album
Phototherapy EP
by Fahim Rahman
A collection of twinkling bedroom folk-pop demos from Fahim Rahman that arcs from hushed intimacy to sweeping cinematic emotionality.
go to album
Siren/Zero Double EP
by Obscura Hail
Juggling art rock, chamber folk, and bedroom pop, Obscura Hail's double EP charts vast stylistic terrain with confidence and ease.
go to album
Lila Tristram’s ASMR-like approach to singing gets a worthy match in the lush and luxurious arrangements of The Last Dinosaur.
go to album
Crafting powerful songs about commitment and love, the Nashville singer-songwriter channels and subverts ’70s country and folk tropes.
go to album
